Peeling Back the Bruinion

New club pokes fun at school norms, Queen Elizabeth


Lauren Gernale

Seniors Chloe Bagi and Tara Kaviani are the satirical minds behind The Bruinion, which calls itself “Branham’s Finest News Source.”

Lauren Gernale, Staff Writer

From Queen Elizabeth’s recent passing to students vaping in the gender neutral bathrooms, there is no safe target for seniors Chloe Bagi and Tara Kaviani, the satirical minds behind The Bruinion (pronounced Broon-yon).

The pair take great inspiration from The Onion, which dubs itself America’s Finest News Source, even calling The Bruinion “Branham’s Finest News Source.”

Their stories are gaining traction, quickly becoming one of the school’s fastest-growing social media destinations, growing to nearly 400 followers in the span of one week.

News stories of Queen Elizabeth’s death layers in geopolitical issues, with headlines such as “AP U.S. History teacher takes down Lady Liberty (poster) after realizing U.S. History no longer exists in light of Queen’s passing.”

Bagi and Kaviani said their stories on the Queen have been the most enjoyable to write, especially as the stories featured staff members such as Principal Lindsay Schubert and social science teacher Kirk Selfridge, among others.

The two posts on the Queen combined have gained more than 700 likes as of Thursday.

“I was shocked that we occupied an active spot in people’s minds,” Bagi said. “It was really successful and I had so much fun writing those pieces.”

The Onion’s influence on The Bruinion is apparent, from the social media design to the fake headlines. The pair said it was mentioned briefly during their AP Language unit on satirical writing their junior year.

Since then, it has played a defining role in their sense of humor, with the two consistently reposting The Onion’s content and creating satirical headlines about occurrences in their own lives.

“We found it really intriguing, hilarious and the funniest thing that’s ever happened,” said Kaviani.

Bagi and Kaviani say that The Bruinion helps them channel their niche humor into a more readily accessible format. They hope that its popularity continues to spread, and have also created an idea submission form for outside ideas.

“We want to make people giggle,” said Kaviani. “We want to ultimately become part of the grand zeitgeist, we want the Bruinion to be a thing that people know about, and we’re getting there slowly. It’s really exciting.”